Hello and welcome!
Before I go to bed at night, I have to make a hard decision about whether I should brush my teeth, wash my face, or pluck the unwanted hairs from wherever it is they decided to grow that day. There is simply no time for all of it. It’s a decision faced by most women in today's culture. Why? Because after you put your crazy, wild, wonderful children to bed, you spend most of the evening arguing with acquaintances on social media and watching youtube videos about popping pimples. All the while, you give your man a good shove, telling him that your business is closed for business, because spin class wasn’t so kind to your business. Really? Is that why?
Yes, that’s life as a woman. That’s our struggle. Or is it? Sure, it’s some of it. But that only scratches the surface. The surface of our deep, dark thoughts that continue to get pushed down by distractions, time, redundancy, and our obsession to please people. Sometimes they get downright ignored because social media offers some kind of satisfaction that our life continually ceases to fulfill.
But I realize that life is SO much more than redundancy and survival.
Is this how you want to live? Do you want to survive or LIVE?
I guess these are the things I write. LIVING. BREATHING. Finding the little things in life, and learning to enjoy them, instead of dread them. I also write about the beautiful places to go in this incredible life, products I love and recommend, recipes to cook that bring joy to others, the blessings and hardships of motherhood and marriage, and so much more.
I can’t tell you enough how much I dislike those self-help books or blogs that offer nothing but fluff. "Be like me, and you'll be happy!" Nope. "Stay the way you are, you're perfect!" Ummm, no, I'm not perfect. I don't have to be, but I do want my life to be fulfilling and meaningful. How? Maybe a meaningful life means changing - GROWING!
We all have problems that range from not being able to zip up your pants one day, to standing on the brink of ending your life. Because we are individuals with individual stories, one person's struggle, might be another person's bliss. This is why it's important to remember - you are not your struggles. Nor should you be defined by them.
A Little about me
I am awkward and say the wrong things at the wrong times, which is why writing is my preferred form of communication; you can delete and try again. I am an introvert who also loves the company of a few special people, including my German husband whom I most days like, but all days love. We have a seven-year-old son, who most likely teaches me more then I will ever teach him, and a precious baby who keeps me super busy when I'm not at my computer writing.
I started a professional music career after my first son was born, and am thankful for the opportunities and music I got to create with wonderful people. Feel free to check it out here. We have moved across the pond a few times, so between Europe and America, we have seen an abundance of the world.
A little honesty
It terrifies me to be transparent here because I'm afraid of what you'll think of me. Oh well, here it goes.
My 9-year marriage has been through the ringer. We've been on the brink of divorce and had seasons (about two years) when we've fought EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. At the end of some of those days - more I care to admit - I ended up numb, laying on the floor, singing along to Johnny Cash's rendition of "Hurt."
By God's grace, this does not happen anymore. We still struggle, and when we do, I sometimes throw things - at one time my husband's gaming PC...into the woods. (I'm sure I'll write a post about it someday.) Yeah. Our blowouts have become few and far between since my last "wake up call," of wanting to end my life. I am very emotional and have extreme hormonal challenges that sometimes dictate how my days go. I get confused as to whether my issues are deep-rooted or just another bad PMS month. I sometimes have a hard time seeing myself as sane. I am most likely an undiagnosed hypochondriac - pretty sure I caught it from my husband. He makes me count his moles at LEAST twice a year and is going to be so pissed that I shared that.
I adore my family. I am thankful, oh so thankful that I believe in God, and that I don't go one single day not thinking what my life would look like without Him. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here.
There you have it!
I would love to get real with you! Please feel free to contact me.