Signs That You're an Insecure Woman
It's no news that many women are insecure. We have enough thrown at us daily via social media telling us just how much we fall short of the ever-changing new "normal." Insecurity has many names and many masks. Some people might also call it lack of self-esteem, self-love, self-worth, or confidence, but all of these descriptions boil down to one thing - insecurity. If you don't already know that you're insecure, you could be coping, or putting on a daily mask that translates to the many telltale signs of being an insecure woman.
We can be insecure for a variety of reasons, which is what I talk about in my latest book, Beautiful Me - A Three-Step Guide to discover your self-worth and overcome insecurity. But how can we, until we realize whether or not we are insecure? You might be surprised; insecurity disguises itself in many ways.
If you think you struggle with insecurity, don't lose heart - there is hope! Just because you're insecure doesn't mean you need to stay there. I didn't. I got fed up with telling myself daily how I was falling short. There is plenty to worry about in this world and wondering if you measure up shouldn't be one of them.
Insecure Woman Sign #1
Insecurity disguises itself in many forms. One of the most common is perfectionism. Not only is perfectionism a sign of insecurity, but it is also a sign of fearing that you will fail. No one wants to fail, but there are those of you who will go through extra lengths to prove that you aren't a failure, by:
- lying to cover your failures
- becoming a workaholic
- becoming obsessive over just about anything
- keeping up appearances
- unhealthy motivation - attempt to please others and not fail.
- doing anything and everything to prove you aren't a failure - used to cover your insecurity
Downfalls to being a perfectionist
- you are robbed blind of experiencing joy in your life
- your creative side will suffer
- other people are often seen as a threat to you failing, which affects your relationships
- you might be taken advantage of for your drive to succeed
- over exhaustion and stress have become apart of you
Insecure Woman Sign # 2
What? I'm not jealous! No woman wants to hear that they are jealous, and many more woman would never admit to it. Commonly, women think jealous thoughts, but they would never admit to being a jealous person. Jealousy and insecurity fuel one another. If you are jealous, you are insecure, and if you are insecure, you are jealous. Because insecurity causes women to believe they aren't good enough, they will then start to compare themselves to one another. This will cause an immediate 'that's not fair' mentality, thus causing one to become envious of something they don't have. When you are constantly bombarded with social media telling you-you have to have this or do that to be accepted in society, it's no wonder we can't be happy for one another anymore. Instead, we think that jealousy will somehow change our circumstances. We then put on a facade that mentally elevates us to be better than another human being. Jealousy has many repercussions, which are often ignored because, most of the time, no one wants to own up to it.
Downfalls of being jealous
- relationship problems
- unrealistic self-image
- unhappiness with oneself and inability to experience joy
- fear of socializing
- unsatisfaction with your own life
- the outer facade of narcissism or thinking you're better than everyone, and an inner conclusion that you're not enough
Insecure Woman Sign # 3
Having an addiction doesn't just mean a daily trip to AA or NA. Addictions come in MANY forms. Some of the more common ones that no one talks about because they have become "normal" are sexual addictions, addiction to success, addiction to a hobby, addiction to control. In fact, ANYTHING can become an addiction, and it's most likely you are addicted to something if you exist. If you are insecure, it's most likely a way for you to cope is to have an addiction of some kind. Something to get your mind off of your insecurity and a temporary escape from reality.
Insecure Woman Sign #4
Because insecurity gives a feeling that we have lost something or somehow missed out, it can cause anger and resentment. When that anger isn't expressed or dealt with in a healthy way, it turns inward and translates to depression, feelings of numbness, and passivity. Insecurity will most often end in depression when all of our attempts to disguise it have failed. Our minds will end up resorting to the fact that this is the only option for our insecure thoughts and feelings; our only outcome.
Insecure Woman Sign #5
Let's say you're an insecure person - you aren't happy with how you look, what your personality is, your job, etc. You are constantly comparing yourself or what you have or don't have to others; therefore, what you thought your life would look like is exceedingly different than what you expected. Do you think that mindset would cause you do try again? To try harder and better? Perhaps - if you're falling in the perfectionist category.
But what if that isn't how you respond? What if you just...give up. This was definitely me if I can be completely honest. My low self-esteem was fueled by the fact I simply didn't believe I could be or do anything extraordinary. I am a creative soul, and that comes out with my writing and musical abilities. It's what I tried my hand at for many years.
While to some people's standards I have achieved a lot in the music industry, I would tell you it's not good enough. When I started to truly believe that, low motivation set in. I was determining the joy I got from doing what I loved by the level of my success. In my mind, I wasn't living up to what I thought I should be, instead of enjoying what I was doing. My thoughts about myself and my music were insecure and unhealthy thoughts, which led to low motivation and giving up.
I haven't given up on music altogether. I just look at it differently now. I was able to heal through my wounds, which I talk more about in my book Beautiful Me. But I have, in some sense of the words, "let it go." Meaning I enjoy it and love to do it, but it no longer determines whether I see myself as successful or not. If anyone is touched or moved by my music in some way or another, it's a win for me.
What you can do about it
It's no easy task to overcome insecurity. In fact, because it might have been apart of you for so long, it might be something you're oblivious to, not to mention, wanting to ignore altogether.
But don't give in anymore. Don't let society keep telling you-you aren't enough, but at the same time disguising it as "you're perfect just the way you are." Neither is correct. We are neither perfect nor not enough. The problem could lie in the fact that you believe those lies that are being thrown at you every day. Perhaps it comes from your past and something that has happened to you such as abuse or bullying. Maybe it's because you have never really discovered just how much God loves us.
But don't feel bad about it! It's our human response to want to feel important, and when we don't, we fall apart.
It's interesting. The very purpose of bigger, better, greedy business is to sell more, even if it's at the expense of making people feel like they aren't good enough. How else will they get you to buy their products? It's advertisement at its best. Make people feel just bad enough to want to "fix" their problems with their product.
But what if we started looking deeper? What if we started to change our thinking and how we see ourselves?
If you want to know more about overcoming insecurity, then maybe you should think about reading my book Beautiful me, now available on Amazon!
I will walk you through a series of thought-provoking questions, for you to figure out: Why you are insecure, to heal from your past, learn to forgive, recognize your potential, and so much more.
It's a quick and easy read with three purpose driven steps to overcome insecurity and begin to change the way you think about yourself.
I am not a psychologist or counselor, but I've struggled with these very things, and am living proof that you can come out from under the cloud you've been living under.