The Top 5 Things Couple Fight About
Couples fight. It’s a fact. But what they fight about is relative to them — their personality, their circumstances, their own personal struggles. I find it interesting that everyone’s struggle in their relationship is different.
Take Christoph and I for example. We are very passionate (one could say stubborn) and we both fight very strongly for our own opinion. That’s why learning how to fight fair has been our biggest asset.
But honestly, I would rather have that than a passive relationship which is overruled by one party member.
Sometimes, you have to literally fight for your marriage. In fact, arguing is normal and healthy, which is what we write about a lot here on Word From From The Bird. To name a few…
What we personally fight about
I’m sure many of you are curious as to what we fight about, so I thought I would give you a little taste. I don’t normally share the personal details of our life, but I feel that this is one of those things that might render itself beneficial to our readers.
You might be surprised, but it’s really hard not to try and make myself look good here. I promise I’m not, but most of the time…Christoph is the one who starts things ;)
We don’t fight near as much as we used to, but when we do — it’s usually along these lines.
Not following through on something — like doing taxes or plans to do something not so fun — paper work, making appts or budgeting. I hate that word. Budget. It’s a stupid word.
Finances hasn’t been huge one for us. We are both pretty trusting when it comes to that. We know that whatever happens, God will always provide for us…and He has.
Dress code has always been something we disagree on. I seem to always pick the wrong shoes for certain events — he resorts to “I told you so” as I’m wearing fabric flat downtown Germany in the pouring rain. Yeah, perfect recipe for disaster.
Video game fighting has increasingly gotten better. Mostly because I decided to start playing them with him. If you can’t beat em, join em. I know that’s not always the solution for things, but in this instance it works for us. We still fight about allotted time frames and such, but…yeah. I think a lot of couples could say that they fight about this as well.
Parenting technique disagreements has from time to time reared its ugly head.
Most of the time I forget what we were even fighting about by the time the fight ends. That tells you a lot about how important our arguing is.
Goes to say, the older we get the more we realize it’s best to nip it in the butt from the get go and not get so deeply and emotionally involved in a fight that might have started because you can’t figure out who left the garage door open.
What does your average couple fight about?
Apart from us, there is a most popular category list of things that your average couples fight about. Some of these make sense to me, but some of them we have no issue with whatsoever. To each his own!
This one isn’t surprising to me. Both emotional and physical intimacy are very sensitive topics and undervalued aspects of a healthy relationship.
Check out my list of ways to be more intimate with your spouse.
It’s no wonder that this is number one. Usually, the man wants more physical intimacy, while the woman wants more emotional intimacy. When either one is communicated unhealthily, it can be disastrous.
Finances is at the top of the list, mainly because if the finances aren’t in order, then everything seems to be amiss. While she might be spending too much, he is making enough and visa versa. The range of problems is huge, and it’s definitely something that gets in the way of having a healthy relationship when not handled and processed in a good way.
This one can be the worst. The reason being, you can’t get rid of your extended family. When you marry someone, it can either be a good or bad thing that you also marry their extended family.
Hopefully for most of you, marrying into the family is a good thing. But I know a lot of couple’s who’s number one cause for struggle is the in-laws. It’s no wonder — you’re combining people you’ve surrounded yourself with and who have known you since a baby, with a person who knows you for who you are today.
That’s not always a good combination because your past, present, and future sometimes get all mixed up between the relationships.
When two people who were raised differently come together and try and raise their own children, it can be an issue. One might agree with spanking, while the other is a no discipline type of person.
There are SO many ways this can go wrong. That’s why it’s important to have a game plan in your parenting. Getting on the same page with your spouse in how you parent is the best thing you can do for your children.
It should also be something you discuss before getting married and having kids. Sometimes disagreements on parenting can be relationship killers. And letting your relationship come to ruin because of parenting is the worst thing you could do for your children.
TIME SPENT TOGETHER
Spending time with one another is one of the most important things you can do to maintain a healthy relationship. But most of us don’t always agree on what that looks like. Communicating your desires of time spent with one another is very helpful.
When you can allow for quality time alone together, with the kids, and alone as individuals, then you are setting yourself up for success in this area.
When things get heated, is when there is expectations that are not met in communicating what one another needs. Time spent together is another stupid, yet popular thing that couples fight about because it hold a lot of weight in a healthy relationship.
Time spend with one another builds friendship — and when things aren’t functioning in this area, it can cause a lot of arguments.
Apart from those things, it’s different fro every couples. One couple could struggle with jealousy, while another has trust issues. Some are stupid and nonsensical, and others are deep-rooted and caused by past hurts.
It’s important to identify what you fight about — you can from there begin to unravel the why, as well as certain trigger you can avoid, and communication techniques to try.
What stupid things do you fight about?