Guest post by Jaimee Troyer - Writer for Hope in Affliction
Having a daughter has been one of the most joy filled experiences in my life. There is no doubt that a mother-daughter bond is special, but as a Mom, there is great responsibility that comes from the relationship with your daughter.
If you have more than one child, you know that each child has needs that are expressed and met in different ways, and beyond that, needs from a mother and father are also different.
I always hear emphasis on the father-daughter relationship, which I believe is such a critical relationship for a young girl, but I don’t as often hear about the importance of a mother-daughter relationship.
What a Daughter Needs From Her Mom
SHE NEEDS YOU TO BELIEVE IN HER.
Being one of your daughter’s biggest fan’s is a great way to instill confidence. Especially when our daughters are young, it is important for them to feel like they can conquer the world.
If your daughter doesn’t feel like you believe in her, it’s likely she won’t believe in herself. The earlier you can instill belief in your daughter and make her know without a doubt that you have confidence in her, the sooner she will learn to believe in herself.
2. SHE NEEDS YOU TO VALIDATE THAT HER WORTH COMES FROM WITHIN; NOT PERFORMANCE, APPEARANCE, OR SUCCESSES.
Growing up nowadays is brutal. Girls are mean and social media opens a whole new world of false appearances, expectations, bullying, and standards that will never be met. Your daughter needs to know that you are proud of her, think she’s beautiful, and that your love is truly unconditional.
Just as us moms have; our daughters will make plenty of mistakes throughout their childhood. It’s important to extend grace to our daughters and teach them no matter how many or how big of mistakes they make they are still worthy of love and forgiveness.
They also need to know that whether they get A’s or D’s or 1st or last, we are still proud of them, still love them, and they are still worthy. We need to teach them how to navigate conflict in relationships and not let that conflict define who they are in a negative way.
3. SHE NEEDS YOU TO MODEL SELF-AWARENESS AND SELF-CARE.
Modeling good self-awareness and self-care is important because it will teach your daughter to be healthier mentally and emotionally.
A way to model self-awareness is to acknowledge your emotions. It’s likely your daughter already picks up on your emotions, especially the negative ones.
Verbalizing your emotions and the reasons for them can be very helpful. You can say,
“I’m really stressed today because I have A and B to get done and haven’t finished either yet” or “I’m feeling sad today because….”
Your daughter needs to know how to express her emotions in a healthy way and identify why she is feeling the way she does. Even in the times we don’t know why we are feeling the way we do it’s important to teach them to acknowledge that too. “I feel really anxious today, but I don’t know why”.
4. SHE NEEDS YOU TO SHOW HER HOW TO RESPECT HERSELF AND BE CONFIDENT.
You may not notice but your daughter watches you a lot and will pick up on how you act, how you treat others, and how you treat yourself. Your daughter needs to see what it looks like for a woman to value herself, respect herself, and be confident. If you do these things, she will notice!